Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Our writing

We are learning to set the scene, select our language carefully, show not tell and use complex sentences. This is our writing we did yesterday in partners after we watched a short video.

It was a dark squeamish day in newspaper city. A very small was looking very suspiciously nervous. He bumped into someone taller, what he was hiding was revealed. It was a small golden hallow dragon.
Halalova and Lachlan

Black crystal rain drops fall on my head like chocolate buttons. Millions of car shadows go past as fast as lightning. Dirty muddy puddles splash when you wander past.
Rhea and Megan

Large drops of rain flew down onto the pavement, like tumbling bricks falling from the sky. Crowds of umbrellas were pushed aside as a young boy came hurriedly along the sidewalk. Colourless faces shadowed people’s glum expressions, while they keep the town swiftly moving. The dullness of the sky had left nothing but a dark world.
Emily and Yneke

It was a grey gloomy day in a little bustling town with people made of paper. The traffic looked like a fast train passing by. The paper machines were crushed by the buckets of water falling from the sky.
Taine and Noah

As I raced through the rain, on this special day, a man pushed me. My heart pumped and I fell to the ground. My pet dragon skidded across the road like someone getting hit by a bus. I could feel the fear in his eyes as I picked him up and carried him away.
Mackenzie and Vannisah

As I scuttle through the sheets of cold water, I gaze at the dull ground and shuffle along in the puddle of greyness. While I was walking along, I half-heartily bumped into an unhappy looking creature. Then I dropped my precious yellow treasure like a person going sky diving. Then the unhappy creature picked up my wonderful treasure and I got a great shock.
Harriet, Michael and Tyla

The stormy winters night froze the robots in their paper umbrellas. The robots marched down the street, with soggy paper umbrellas, in a long line. The umbrellas were as wet as a river. A shadow came from behind me and pushed me, I skidded across the footpath onto the road.
Isabella and Ruby

The sky was as dark as oil because of the pollution. I walked silently through the crowd. I crashed into someone and lost my balance. My precious slipped out of my hand and got into the grasp of another. He exploded with colour and happiness.
Keane and Jack

There was a gloomy grey sky in papertown. The machines were marching in the streets, it was pretty much a river. The traffic was like the toliets at McDonalds. It was as depressing as 1930’s Wall Street.
Seth and Kaleb

The sky was as black as smog and the cars were as grey as wolves. A mysterious being came dashing along a hardworking street, the mysterious being crashed into the creatures, a magical scaly dragon dropped out of his hand. The creature picked it up and turned into a colourful robot.
Tristan and Shem

It was a dark and frankly horrible day. No one was speaking and nobody really wanted to. The sun, never came out and the darkness never left. It was as hopeless as making the Joker sane.

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